Category: Change

Change, Infertility, Life, Motherhood, purpose, Strenghth

New Job Title

by beccasays10Leave a Comment on New Job Title

It’s a boy! It’s a girl! Just like that I became a Mom in September 2019. I waited so long for this very moment and was slapped in the face with an abundance of love and sleepless nights. When we brought them home, we had no clue what we were doing. All I knew was our life changed dramatically. As the months have gone by my husband and I have had many lessons, opinions, and dirty diapers.

With this massive life moment, as a new Mom I have felt like I needed permission for everything at this point. “Do you mind if I take a shower”?”Could you watch the babies while I do laundry”? “Can I get a moment just to myself”? I am learning that motherhood can be not only time consuming but it’s also a loss of yourself.

I mourn the loss of who I used to be, yet I am so in love with these tiny humans and wouldn’t change it for the world. Isn’t that funny? I quit my 19 year career where I was not the happiest, however I enjoyed leading people.  My husband and I decided that I stay home due to the load of twins for our parents and I overall wanted to be with them for a few years. The decision was hard and I was a hot mess after I quit. I think I ugly cried for a few days. I gave myself permission to mourn my old self and I was able to slowly transition into mom buns and nike sweatpants. Don’t get me wrong I still try to put on some rouge here and there. To all the Moms out there trying to fit into their new role, I see you! I am with you and I know at times it feels overwhelming, but you were made so Devine and it’s okay to not always be okay.

Xo,

Becca

Anxiety, BE YOU, Change, Fear, human connection, Life, purpose, Strenghth, The struggle is real, Uncategorized

Fear Teaches You

by beccasays10Leave a Comment on Fear Teaches You

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Well, here I am yet again with my thoughts on “what’s next”? My life is changing and feel a push to get out of my comfort zone. It is the most uncomfortable feeling and fear seems to creep in. When you look at my life on paper, it would pass a test. However, in reality I am not aligned with my heart. You may ask, “What does your heart have to do with this”?  My heart has been a minimal focus for many years. My feelings have been suppressed by my corporate role that I have been doing for 15 years. It’s that left brain, right brain philosophy. I have been the analytical brain for many years of my life. Feelings were on the back burner. I can say that for many years it worked for me and I was able to keep up and become very successful. Now at 35 years old on September 12th, I am seeing my mind, body and soul has different priorities. I want to do something that aligns with my heart, rather than my mind.

Fear has shackled me from becoming what I want to be. My thoughts and my trust has been holding me back. I know by fitting my circle into a square for so long it will get exhausting and to be honest quite daunting. When I think of who I really want to be, I consistently allow fear to talk to me out of it. My career is an attachment that I need to let go and be more active to who I truly want to be. Risk is scary and I have always been someone to take the “safe route”. I have learned that I have complete control over my life and I know that if I don’t address my ideas, then the momentum will start slowing down. With fear comes knowledge and power. I can decide to be fearful and allow fear to keep my momentum in full force! What is the worst that can happen? One day I want to look back and say that I tried, even though fear was on my shoulders. If you look at all the entrepreneurs out there, they didn’t come from a perfect road. They had to fail, be vulnerable and fear the unknown. But it allowed them to live their dream and fear became a bestie. COME ON FEAR, let’s be BFF’s!

 

XOXO,

Becca