Many time I wear a mask of strength even when I am dying inside. My mind takes over and tells me to “suck it up sunshine” and deal with the task at hand. I have consistently kept up with this image for years. In reality I am an emotional wreck. I guess this explains where some of my anxiety comes from. I bottle a lot in and I sometimes take others burdens on as well. Not good.
Last Tuesday, shit got real! I got some devasting news about some testing my husband and I have been doing. A little back story about us is that we have been trying to have a baby. Nothing in our mind thought we would have any challenges in this arena. We are both super healthy and have everything in order. For the last year, we have been silently trying just waiting for that positive pregnancy test. Nothing. I started light heartedly going to the doctor for further information. In the process, I have been poked and prauded which all tests have been normal. Next adventure…. semen anaylasis. No biggie! Well, to my surprise it sure was a biggie. Test results=issues.
My mask is off. I can’t hide from this. As much as I know I need to be strong I have been torn up. Why us? We are more than capable in having a baby. This doesn’t happen to us! No way! But it has. Here we are trying to now tackle this next phase of our life.
Sh*% just got real….